Friday, February 9

Best Legal Footnote, Ever*

I found this via Haight's Maritime Items:

Motion denied for incomprehensibility - To those who say judges can’t read through the jargon found in most court filings, I invite your attention to the attached very short order issued by the US Bankruptcy Court for the Western District of Texas (read the footnote). In re King, BC No. 05-56485-C (W.D. Tex. B., February 21, 2006). - Dennis Bryant

Here is the Court Order:


Before the court is a motion entitled “Defendant’s Motion to Discharge Response to Plaintiff’s Response to Defendant’s Response Opposing Objection to Discharge.” Doc. #7. As background, this adversary was commenced on December 14, 2005 with the filing of the plaintiff’s complaint objecting to the debtor’s discharge. (Doc. #1). Defendant answered the complaint on January 12, 2006. Doc. #3.

Plaintiff responded to the Defendant’s answer on January 26, 2006. Doc. #6. On February 3, 2006, Defendant filed the above entitled motion. The court cannot determine the substance, if any, of the Defendant’s legal argument, nor can the court even ascertain the relief that the Defendant is requesting. The Defendant’s motion is accordingly denied for being incomprehensible.1

# # #

1 Or, in the words of the competition judge to Adam Sandler’s title character in the movie, “Billy Madison,” after Billy Madison had responded to a question with an answer that sounded superficially reasonable but lacked any substance,

Mr. Madison, what you've just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I've ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response was there anything that could even be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.

Deciphering motions like the one presented here wastes valuable chamber staff time, and invites this sort of footnote. - (PDF Link)

There are a number of lawyers who have criticized the comments by the judge. I however, know firsthand how lawyers F with you when they or their cleint is in the wrong. It is not only the judges staff whose time lawyers waste, they leave a path of destruction much wider than that, and they treat the rest of us much worse than they do judges.

*If you know of a better one, please share with us by leaving a comment.

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